SOSA Notes

A SOSA column

Thanksgiving

As the leaves begin their annual fall from the trees, and the squirrels begin their collection of nuts for winter, I am reminded of all the reasons I am thankful. I for one am thankful for much this year, though the contents of this list may surprise some people, I lay it out here as a gift to all who have made the items on this list possible.

First, I am thankful for the conflict the Catholic Church is embroiled in. For I know it means victims are being believed. It signals the closing of a loophole that assisted too many priests to hurt too many people for too many years. As I read of priest’s being sentenced for crimes they committed, I am thankful that closure is coming for so many. Thankful that healing is happening for so many, including the Catholic Church.

Several times this year I have read about Amber Alerts. I am so grateful for Amber. She gave her life so many others could be saved. What a brave young girl she was, and an even braver family she left behind. They fought to do everything they could to ensure that no other child should be lost to predatory sexual offenders. They made a big difference in our world, and I am thankful.

My mind wanders to the pioneers like Dr. Cornelia Wilbur, who thirty years ago found an unconventional way to break open the world of psychology, and let the world know that many victims of sexual abuse do in fact have multiple personalities, now called dissociative disorders. She gave the world their first personal glimpse into the life of Sybil, and a first hand walk through not only the pain of child abuse, but also its aftermath. She opened the door so that therapists around the world could step forward and say “I have a client who is dissociative, and I need help to treat them.” The doctor I see today can treat me with resources in hand because Dr. Wilbur dared to shatter a staunch world that refused to open it’s eyes for so many years. I am thankful that she did, and thankful that so many have continued her pioneering work to date.

As a result, I am able to say today that victims of childhood sexual abuse are being believed in greater numbers than ever before. Victims are being encouraged to come forward, speak out, and receive the help they so deserve. I am so appreciative that victims are being believed today. That the dark ages where people said, “You should be ashamed for saying that, he could never do such a horrible thing,” are past. Professionals and victims alike must continue the fight to ensure that all victims are believed. Vigilance is so important. In the end I am most thankful for the safe havens. Places where other victims as well as myself, can come and know that we are not only believed, but also safe. Never in their wildest dreams did the developers of the Internet ever imagine the role they would play in giving safe havens to victims. For it is here we can come safely. Here we can find friends who understand because they have been there, done that, have the t-shirt, and are card carrying members of the “I was abused as a child,” club.

Yes, as I sit high in my tree house of life today, with leaves cascading in the cold air outside my window, providing vivid colors that excite my senses, I am thankful. Thankful to all whom have gone before to break the trail and light the way. Thankful I was able to endure the abuse of childhood, and live to tell the tale long enough to make a difference in this world. Yes, I am thankful today to a great extent for pioneers who forged ahead despite a world that did not, and does not want to hear. Today I light a candle to those brave pioneers, who listened then, and are still listening today.